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Funny Things Kids Say Week 1
1. (In line at Target, out of nowhere, and so very seriously.) Kid2: Mommy is f&@ck a bad word? Me: (gasps) yes honey, it’s the worst word. 2. Kid1: I’m sorry I got brainwash in your drink. Me: (Still watching Trolls.) You’re funny, how did you put brainwash in my drink? Are you a witch now? Kid1: Ugh, witches aren’t real. Look. Me: Ohhhh, you mean backwash, ew. 3. Kid2: I peed my pants. Me: Okay, take those off and I will get you some new pants. Kid2: I’m gonna need new shoes too… Me: HOW did you get pee in your shoes?! 4. Me: You need to focus on…
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Funny Things Kids Say Week 4
Kid1: My cousin said the “S” word! Mom: What “S” word? Shit? Kid1: No. Mom: It’s okay, whisper it to me. Kid1: (whispers) Yeah, shit. Mom: What is that? Kid1: It’s a thing to my sticky hand but it broke off because it’s a dollar tree special. Kid1: Don’t say that word! Mom: Uterus? It’s not a bad word, you used to live in there. Kid1: EEEWWW IT WAS A CREEPY PLACE AND I HATED IT! Mom: Are you tired? Kid2: NO! I just don’t want my eyeballs anymore because they keep closing. Kid1: How do boys get potty trained? Mom: The same way you did? Kid1: But they have…
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Elf On The Shelf Ideas
We love Elf On The Shelf in our house, however that doesn’t mean this momma always has an easy time coming up with all of the ideas for his shenanigans! If you’re like me, you start making your list of ideas long before thanksgiving arrives. I decided to compile a list of our elf adventures over the years to share with all of you! I hope you enjoy them and have fun bringing magic into your home! We love to start our magic with a “We’re Back” breakfast each year! Our Elf/Elves are known for playing tricks on us. The girls think it is so funny and so magical. Our…
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Funny Things Kids Say Week 3
Me: I bet daddy would cut you some grapes. Dad: Probably if you sweet talk me a little bit. Kid1: I farted. Me: Did you have fun at your sleepover? Kid1: SO MUCH FUN I ALMOST BARFED RAINBOWS! Kid2: My pants keep getting in my gina (vagina) every time I sit down. Me: Are they too tight? Kid2: No they’re just annoying my gina (vagina). Me: Do you want me to get you different pants? Kid2: No these are fine. Me: doesn’t seem fine. Kid2: (now watching tv) What? Kid1: Please get me some pizza? Me: Let’s finish this quiz first, you’re not starving. Kid1: YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE!…
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How To Change A 1 Year Old
Step 1. Wonder if it’s the baby that smells like garbage? Step 2. Smell baby’s butt. Step 3. Peak inside the diaper to confirm… and you now have poop on your finger. Step 4. Wash hands, and grab a diaper. Step 5. Relocate baby. Step 6. Wrestle baby onto the couch and open the diaper, only to realize you forgot wipes. Step 7. Close the diaper back up and go find wipes. Step 8. Repeat step 5. Step 9. Continue wrestling baby. Step 10. Wipe baby’s right hand because it now has poop on it. Step 11. Wrestle poopy diaper from screaming baby’s left hand while holding him/her upside down…
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Funny Things Kids Say Week 2
Kid2: Is a hiney a gina (vagina) Me:No, your hiney is your butt. Kid2: (Walks off singing)“Hiney is your buttttt gina is a vagggiiinnnaaa” Kid1: you’re noxious (obnoxious) Kid2: Nachos?! I’m food?! Me: No she said OB-NOXIOUS, and that’s not very nice. Kid2: Ohhhh well nachos and noxious rhyme so it’s okay. Kid1: I’m not gonna get married, I’m just gonna have a boyfriend. Me: That’s fine, but why? Kid1: Cuz I don’t wanna get pregnant. Kid2: Do you want the good news or the bad news? Me: Bad news. Kid2: (points to right toe) I’m bleeding on this toe. Me: It’s okay, it’s not bleeding, it’s just a scab.…
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What’s Your First Thought?
What was your first thought when you saw this photo? Was it “how inappropriate”, or “how funny”. Maybe you even judged me for the drink in my hand or my physical appearance? Whatever it was it’s nothing I didn’t think in that moment or when I’ve looked at the picture. On this particular day we were on a camping trip. The kids were enjoying swimming in the pond and us adults were sitting on the beach enjoying some adult conversation, which as a stay at home mom is sometimes hard to come by. All of the sudden my three year old runs out of the water and yells “mommy I…
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Time4Learning
Alright everyone let’s talk homeschooling! Our current favorite website/curriculum is time4learning. I pay $19.99 a month for one kiddo, you can add on another child for an extra $14.95 per month. This gives me access to a parent profile where I can design our whole schedule, make lessson plans, print all of the work completed/report cards, and it helps us stay on track! The subjects I chose for my 1st grader are: language arts, math, science, and social studies. There are electives you can choose as well at an extra monthly cost (time4languages, vocabularyspellingcity, and time4writing) we have not gotten into these just yet but I can’t wait to try…
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Razzle Dazzle
Betsey Johnson “Razzle Dazzle” glasses! I get so nervous about choosing new glasses, that I always end up going with a pretty basic pair. These are so different from anything I would normally choose, but it turns out they are my favorite! I have had so many compliments on them, they don’t dig into my nose, and they are so fun. You can find them at https://www.eyeglasses.com/eyeglasses/betsey-johnson-razzle-dazzle.html . If you check out the whole Betsey Johnson line, there are SO many fun pairs, I can’t wait to get more!
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Beachy Waves
Is your hair fine, thin, and has zero volume? It’s okay! Mine too! My hair has never held curl well. I started looking around for tools to get that beachy wave, and stumbled upon the “Bed Head Wave Artist”. After reading all of the awesome reviews on Amazon (because obviously) I decided to give it a shot. I was not disappointed! I am SO in love. It takes me 10 minutes to do my hair, and it lasts me two days with minimal touch ups! Instead of constantly throwing my hair into a “mom bun” it actually feels like I’ve gotten ready and put some effort into it. I’m a…
